There sure is a lot of hoopla going on in this here wide world and it seems like everyone has an opinion, and a lot of people like to virtually or literally shout it in others’ faces. Never one to back down from holding an opinion of my own, here are some of my takes on recent hot topics. Full disclaimer, I do next to no research and whatever garbage I’m writing about is from the fractions of “news” I get in the form of memes, random newspaper articles, quick Google searches, and people that cross my path. These are just some current thoughts, in my lighthearted opinion; they may change and most likely will, maybe even today. Much like hummus, they’re not for everyone and there’s a secret family recipe, but if consumed properly, can be quite healthy. Hopefully this is a bit better than yelling my opinion into your ears.
CLASSIC COMEDIES
My roommate and I have recently been on a little comedy journey with Caddyshack, Happy Gilmore, Talladega Nights, Land of the Lost, Old School, Naked Gun 2 ½, and Airplane!, and it’s been incredible; not much beats a classic comedy movie. As great as Will Ferrell, Adam Sandler, Bill Murray and Leslie Nielsen are, the undisputed king is Rodney Dangerfield; what a hysterical human. His role in Caddyshack is legendary and nearly every one of his lines is quotable:
“Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? … Oh, it looks good on you though.”
On a general note, where did movies like these go? Dumb, ridiculous, raunchy, and purely for the jokes. Instead of the plot being primary to the story, it might as well be tertiary; especially in Airplane! and Caddyshack. I mean, what is the plot of Caddyshack? The whole thing is just a vessel for jokes with scenes popping up that have almost no relevance to the “central plot line”.
“What if we threw Dangerfield into a respectable, elderly dinner and he called the food, ‘low-grade dog food’ right before he farts and blames it on a duck? What if we put Chevy Chase in a room with a beautiful woman but make him a childish schlub that fake-opens a bottle of sparkling water? What if we make Bill Murray play an insane groundskeeper that caddies a preacher in a storm and the preacher gets killed by lightning after the best round of his life?”
That, my friends, is genius writing…
And not to be too much of a stupid, monkey-brained, straight man but can we bring back the obligatory “one topless gal in every comedy movie” rule? I swear so many of those movies just threw in some boobs for barely any reason, if there was a reason at all, but who’s complaining?
ELON & TRUMP
Who gives a flying f*ck? I cook my own meals and do my own laundry; don’t you?
CABLE TV SITCOMS
I know my life is hitting a slump when I start rewatching Parks and Recreation… I’m so lonely...
Regardless, I have to say it’s my favorite of the mainstream sitcoms and I unequivocally believe it’s better than The Office. It’s wholesome while also toeing the line of inappropriate, it was able to expand the story far beyond the confines of their City Hall, the jokes are creative and not forced by a laugh track, there are some moments of real wisdom and thought, and it has Ron Swanson, one of my favorite TV characters ever (right up there with George Costanza and Charlie Kelly).
However, it has recently been moved to Peacock, the worst “streaming” service I’ve ever had the unfortunate necessity of using. It’s advertised as free, but the free package has commercials, so it’s either pay for yet another streaming service or watch it like we’re in the Bronze Age with our 500lb cable TVs plugged into the wall and two minute commercial breaks. Not to mention that streaming services are getting so wide-spread and expensive, they’re basically just becoming cable TV in a new package.
On a sidenote: While I will never willingly put it on the screen in front of my eyes, I don’t mind Modern Family. It’s actually pretty funny, toeing a similar line of wholesome and “adult” like Parks and Rec does, Phil is an all-time character, and Sofía Vergara just really has an eye for fashion… Also Brooklyn Nine-Nine is pretty good too; noice.
Luckily my Parks & Rec phase passed about a month ago (and that was a joke, I physically can not be lonely living with four other people).
BEING CONFUSED
“I’m confused - If you’re not confused and you think you have it all figured out, you’re an op”
-Tim Dillon
IRAN
I refuse to research this topic simply on the basis of “futility”. However, I wouldn’t mind if the US stopped throwing money away to other countries, bombing other countries, getting next to nothing in return for our aid from other countries, making new enemies with other countries, and wide-eye-shut ignoring other countries.
I guess that can be applicable to any foreign intervention by the US… and so can this next point.
When I first heard we had bombed Iran, I was with an 82 year old man who is a mild supporter of Trump; so I asked him what he thought of that move and the whole situation over there. While we had a little discussion, the main point I remember him saying was, “It depends on who you would prefer to be the dominant power in the Middle East. Do you want Iran or Saudi Arabia?”
While I don’t necessarily agree with that justification nor do I have an opinion on it, it gave me something new to ponder and brings me to a final point on Iran, and also Israel/Palestine and Russia/Ukraine and abortion/pro-life and guns/gun-control and any other hot topic people like to scream and kill over for that matter: Listen to others and try to understand them.
It is alarming how often we (myself included) will pick a side and never try to even fathom the ideas of the other side; it makes no sense. How can you strengthen your conviction, build your knowledge, and potentially convince someone else if you don’t even know what they stand for? I mean, how can you beat the other team if you don’t know the basics of their strategy? What if they play a lot of small-ball and are aggressive on the bases? Wouldn’t that be useful to know? Wouldn’t you shift your corner infield and change your approach to pitch calling? And if you knew it ahead of time, wouldn’t you work on bunt defenses and pick-offs? The same goes for US stealth bombing of Iranian nuclear research facilities. How am I going to formulate a strong argument against it if I don’t even understand those who argue for it? Might as well bring my football pads to the diamond and start tackling people.
If you think I’m stupid and these are some really dumb takes, you’re probably correct and that’s okay; I basically hold less sway than the people sleeping on the sidewalk. My thoughts are my thoughts and actually affect very little in the world, if anything; such is how the world works.